"Why Do You Love Me" Why do you love me, baby? Who said I loved you? I don't know... I just kinda assumed you did. Sorry. Hey, wait! What? Do you even like me? Not really. Then what am I doing here? You're here to make me feel better about myself. Then maybe I'll go commit suicide. That would make me feel even better about myself. Then maybe I'll enjoy life, even though you hate me. Then I'll just make your life a living hell. Then maybe I'll just enjoy that as well. In that case, I would probably want to date you.