"Virgin"
INT. BEDROOM
A guy and a girl are in bed.
GIRL
Are you sure you want to do this?
GUY
Are you kidding?
GUY
I've been waiting my entire life for this.
GUY
(thinking)
And by my entire life, I mean since puberty.
GUY
(thinking)
And by waiting, I mean watching pornography non-stop.
GIRL
Alright, don't be nervous. I'll do all the work.
INT/EXT. STANDING TALKING
I don't think we should see each other anymore.
GUY
What?! Because of last night?
GUY
You *knew* that was my first time! I promise I'll get better!
GIRL
That's the problem - you were way too good. There's no way you're a virgin.
GIRL
Four hours straight? At least make it believable.
GIRL
I can't be with someone who lies to me.
INT. GUY'S COMPUTER ROOM
GUY is yelling in rage as he smashes his PC.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED I THOUGHT I READ ALL THE STRIPS. WHERE THE FUCK AM I. WHO THE FUCK IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS DECEPTION. HOW THE FUCK CAN I POSSIBLY END THIS DILEMMA.