"The Big Brigantine" DUDE He left on a galleon, but he returns on a brigantine. WALTER You anticipate his return with much vigour. What reason lies behind this obsessive behavior? DUDE That man urinated upon my favorite rug! WALTER How dastardly. That rug adequately enhanced the aesthetic of your front parlour! DUDE Indeed. Upon his return I shall dash him into a thousand sausage links! WALTER Delightful. A tit for a tat. DUDE Or, I shall at least acquire a new rug. WALTER Reasonable. A tit for a tit. Hark! There he sails! DUDE Clean your eyes. There is no square rigging on that mast. WALTER Hark! The vagrant! DUDE There sails a frigate. You have the sailing knowledge of a desert horned lizard! WALTER Hark! To the west! DUDE Have you never set your sight on a water vessel? That fluyt is surely full of cotton and tobacco. DONNY A flute is a boat? DUDE Shut up, Donny! Title-text: This is of course how I imagine everyone talked around the 19th Century. Tags: Dude Walter Donnie brigantine fluyt frigate galleon dastardly